Massive thunder

Honestly. Now I know what people mean when they say the thunder sounds like a giant unicorn jumping around on a humongo bongo drum.
'Cause that's what this thunder sounded like. Honestly. It was like these huge giant footsteps magnified by about thirty times. It shook the house. And it's pouring.
If this is April Showers, all the May Flowers are going to drown.
Oh man.
Lightning.
More thunder.
Shaking the candle holder things on the wall- hope they don't fall on my head. Okay, that one wasn't anything close to as loud. But it's closer. So now I'm scared of being struck by lightning, because we talked about how fast you can die if you get hit and all the jazz in English. Yes, I have the craziest English class ever. How did we get from incessant rain to that? Well, actually, I've got some sort of idea. Weirdly, the rain basically just stopped. Anyway, I feel bad for my sister who's gonna walk home in, like, two minutes. I got soaked in two blocks. She has about five to walk. Oh, gasp. But I like rain, so it was all right for me. Her, on the other hand...
Ah, well.
Now I want to eat these Good & Fruity things that are sitting on the table. Yum. Candy. Yum. But wait! It's a Monday, which equals no candy. Um, major sob moment.
Okay, I think the storm is leaving now. Sort of. kind of. Maybe.
That roll of thunder sounded more like giant unicorns bowling.
Hey now, hey no-ow.

You ever read Rip Van Winkle? 

I, for one, have. I think. Possibly...

Update-y moment- Actually, I saw the Wishbone on Rip Van Winkle.  What's the story, Wi-i-shbone?

I dunno what the real story is, Wishbone. Sorry to disappoint.