I know that I posted, like, two days ago, but I'm in a writing mood. And my novel's being all What-should-I-write-next. Aka writer's block-y. My plot's at a standstill.
Yes, I am writing a novel! It's probably never going to be published, but still! I like it! My cousin likes it! It's kind of disturbing, but apparently people go for that these days. But mostly, it's just fun to write.
No, you do not get a summary. It might disturb you. IF you're, you know, easily disturbed. Which you very well might be. It's got some... freakishness. Murderer father. Freakishness. But I love my novel. Even though I'm only on page 65, it's still the longest thing I've ever written in my life, and getting steadily longer. I'm like the little engine that could- chugga chugga chugga! All right, possibly the worst simile ever. Ah, well. I can actually deal with it myself this time, instead of forcing you to deal with it instead.
I'm not so good at similes. I rock at metaphors, but similes just make me look like a total dork.
The word simile looks a lot like the word smile. Which reminds me...
Once upon a time, I was with someone and someone and someone else. My immediate family, my grandparents, and my cousins. Two of them. We were on some sort of road trip or something, I think. i don't know why. But me and my cousin that's my age were looking at the menu. Everything on the kid's menu came with smiley fries (yes, I did look at the kid's menu. This was, like, five years ago). Except one thing came with smiley fires. It cracked us up.
It shows you how precious childhood is (I mean, technically I'm still a child, but technicality doesn't matter in this situation). Anyone who can laugh at a tiny little typo like we did back then is an amazing human being. Anyone who can look at the word fires and just see the word fries all messed up is an amazing human being. Anyone who doesn't think of what fires can do if they run wild when looking at the word is kind of ignorant. Blissfully ignorant, because they don't see all the evils in the world. Yet. Sure, someday they'll grow up and discover how horrible the human race is. But for now, they live on moments like those, moments that can last a lifetimes.
It doesn't make me laugh anymore. But it makes me wish that I could laugh at it. Maybe I just have a different sense of humor now. A more mature one? But maybe I lost my ignorance, and that's why I can't laugh. I don't laugh as easily anymore, not as easily as I did. Things just aren't very funny anymore. I don't know why...
I probably go hours and hours without laughing. I just don't notice it. I don't think about it. I smile, sure. But smiling isn't as good. You can fake a smile, but you can't fake laughter. You can be like me, and you can smile to hold back tears. And you can be like me, who has an awful fake laugh, but a convincing fake smile.
Most people are like that. Most people have good fake smiles. It's from being forced to smile into a camera when you'd rather be anywhere but. It's from people telling you to smile when you're not happy at all. It's from people expecting a smile out of you most of the time. Even when you have nothing to smile about, people make you smile. And that's why we can hide our emotions behind a smile so well. That's why we can lie so well, humans in general.
Do you hate school pictures, or like them? Any other thoughts on school pictures?
I hate them. They force me to fake happiness. It's pointless. They end up looking fake, anyway, the picture as a whole. This is not how anyone looks in everyday life. So why bother?
I'm going to go write my depressing novel now, because I am in the mood.