Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Solitaire. Solitaire. Solitaire. More solitaire. SO MUCH SOLITAIRE!!!!

This is not a total fluke. This blog is showing up in black and white because I want it to. It looks better this way.
I made you a picture!
Um, yeah. Notice the word I in this sentence. Because you're not going to believe me, but I made this with AutoShapes in a Word Document, and then took a picture of it. I'm not lying.
I made it to illustrate me and solitaire. We have a love-hate relationship. Mostly hate.
Well? Solitaire is hard. Sort of. Today, I played for an hour. I won one whole time! You should be proud.
And then I spent an hour making this, because I have spirit! I am determined... to make something that looks vaguely like old PC Solitaire. Because I totally direct my determination at all the right things... things that will actually make a difference in my life.
Yeah, I know the numbers are pretty bad on the cards.
Deal with it.
I still think it looks pretty decent. So, get over it.
You know, I've looked for solitaire for Mac that is even half as good as the solitaire my ginormous old Dell laptop thing has. Just online solitaire. But either the cards annoy me, it finishes for you, or something lame and/or dumb like that. I'll give you some examples of really, really bad online solitaire, because it's FUN, okay?
Some people like this kind of solitaire. It just makes me nervous.
This is just stressful.
Another one with really weird cards. 
And they all claim to be the best. Now, here's the best I've found.
That one is seriously the best. I mean, sure, it's not the classic one. But it's the one I like the best. Because it doesn't cause me to have a nervous breakdown? Well, that, too.
And so what if I can't win even the easy levels? I'm going to need some practice. Oh, wait. I've been practicing for years, and I'm still not any good. If tearing my hair out and winning very infrequently can be considered "practicing." Yeah, I was just practicing. That's why I'm so horrible. This isn't the real deal. It's, like, warm up.
Yeah right.
So, here's my question fooooooooooooor... you! (as Elmo would say)

Are you good at solitaire? Do you ever even play solitaire? Give me the details of your solitaire life!

Notice I said solitaire life. Not life life. I don't want to know your life life story. Just your solitaire life story. Oh, and by the way, I've been talking about Klondike solitaire this whole time. But Spider solitaire is okay, I guess. I mean, it's not as extensively awesome (that's where the love part of our relationship comes in), but I guess it's decent.
So, all you people, go play some solitaire, people! It will make your life awesome. But be careful. You might end up like me... totally addicted. Maybe I'll add that to my profile. I have an obsession with socks. And tic tacs. And Angry Birds. And SOLITAIRE!
So, go play some solitaire for me,
Ernesto (my Social Studies teacher called me this. Once)


  1. I have been playing solitaire for as long as I can remember. Solitaire, is totally about luck, tho, so I can't say I'm particularly skilled at it. If the cards fall in the wrong place, there is no way to win!

  2. I like solitaire. I pway it on my ipod sometimes.