If you don't money, you don't win.
You don't win elections because you don't have the bucks to place personal attacks on the television. Or in People magazine. Or whatever form of media you find it most publicly accepted to put ads in.
Mostly, these consist of people accusing other people of being terrorists or having some nasty family history or being born in the Galapagos, and either a bunch of ominous beats or a song that's completely unrelated to running for office.
Ads that are mostly just a last attempt at winning.
Ads like this one.
[yeah, just makin' it known that this is satire, like i was advised by my, um, political adviser. known, in other circles, as "dad." in case it was, um, in some way unclear, i am not accusing barack obama of going golfing with osama bin laden or anything like that. a similar worry was expressed by my father. i don't want the general public to get the same idea.]
This is a way in which politics sucks. This is why no one completely awesome ever gets elected- the completely awesome people don't inexplicably have a billion dollars.
This is why people like Herman Cain end up in the running (thank God he's not running anymore).
They all have this sharkish desire to win. Even if it means accusing basically any other sentient being of being a terrorist.
And hypocrisy. Oh, the hypocrisy...
Money is everything in politics.
And hair. If you have bad hair... well, you've already lost.